The Merest Thought by Jane Carver

Life is often defined by those events that take a person down a different path. A marriage, the birth of a child, buying a new home or car are all moments of great joy. Leaving friends behind when moving, the death of a friend or family member, evoke great sadness. Surviving hurricanes, tornados, wrecks and abuse…these are personally traumatic. But what about the trauma that strikes the minute someone says; ‘This may be cancer.’

* * * *

Ms. Comal took a Pap smear and palpated Tracy’s abdomen and uterus. Finally the PA uncovered her breasts and began the circular exam with fingers sensitive to any abnormality. Tracy’s wandering mind came back to reality when she realized Ms. Comal still manipulated her right breast.

“I can feel a lump.”

Her words sent Tracy into a mental meltdown. The word ‘cancer’ came to mind with the power of a sledgehammer. Cancer had taken her dad and aunt.

* * * *

By three the next afternoon, Tracy sat across from Dr. Kit, her family physician of more than twenty years. Her husband sat next to her.

“I recommend a biopsy procedure. That’s the fastest way to determine if this is malignant or not. All of the lump can be excised at the same time, just in case. The tissue sample will be sent to a lab, and we’ll have results back within the week. I’ll make an appointment for the biopsy right now.” He picked up the phone, spoke briefly, wrote several lines of information on a notepad then hung up. Before Tracy could say anything, he dialed another number, gave rapid-fire instructions, scribbled again and ended the call.

“Your biopsy is set for Monday at ten. I set up an appointment for us to visit again the following week on Wednesday.” Two long weeks from the exam to a day when Tracy might take a new path, a turning point. Cancer or not?

* * * *

During times of trouble, Tracy considered faith, family and friends essential. She carried her faith in her heart. Her husband, sons and mother surrounded her with love and support while a few close friends went into prayer-and-care mode.

Nothing, however, could still the turmoil in her mind. All she could think of was cancer. All the things she had ever heard or read stormed through her mind day and night. The merest thought of cancer blurred her world.